Peachy
The Peachmeister
Registered: Jan 2003
Location: Horny, hellbound and happy in the Harem with Meryl Marie
Posts: 257 |
Am still at it. Sheesh. Must be the sugar from all the marshmallows.
By some curious chance one morning long ago in the quiet of Tol Eressea,
when there was little noise and much green, and the hobbits were, if not
numerous, very prosperous, and Frodo Baggins was standing at his door after
breakfast, smoking an enormous long wooden pipe that reached nearly down
to his woolly toes (mmm, toes!) - Gandalf came by.
Gandalf! If I could tell you all about his pointy hat - but then, this is not a slash site.
“Good morning!” said Frodo, and he meant it. The sun was shining, and the
grass was very green. But Gandalf looked him from under long bushy eyebrows
that stuck out futher than the brim of his shady hat. (Well, they don’t
in the films, and thank Eru for that.)
“Nice pipe,” said Gandalf.
“Thank you! If you have no pipe, sit down and have a fill of mine! There’s no hurry, we have all the day before us!”
“Very nice,” said Gandalf. “But I have no time to blow smoke-rings this
morning. I am looking for someone to share in a Harem that I am arranging.
It’s very difficult to find someone.”
“I should think so - in these parts! We don’t have any harems around here.
They make you late for dinner. I can’t think what anybody sees in them,”
said our Mr Baggins.
“What a lot of excuses you make! To think you’d refuse to have a Harem,
sending me off as if I was selling buttons at the door!”
“I’m sorry,” said Frodo. “I did not mean to be impolite. But can’t we talk
about something else? What about your fireworks? I remember those. They
used to - “
“Yes, I’m quite aware of how good my fireworks are,” said Gandalf. “So stop
there, I’m getting deja vu. I will give you the Harem you asked for.”
“I beg your pardon, I haven’t asked for a Harem!”
“Tough,” said Gandalf. “You’re getting one anyway. Very amusing for me,
very good for you - and enjoyable too, very likely, if you ever get over
it.”
“Sorry! I don’t want any Harem, thank you. But please come to tea - any
time you like! Why not tomorrow! Come tomorrow! Goodbye!”
With that Frodo turned and hurried inside his round green door, and shut it.
He had only just had breakfast, but he thought a cake or two and a drink of something would do him good after that conversation.
Gandalf in the meantime was still standing outside the door, and laughing
long but quietly. After a while he stepped up, and with the spike on his
staff scratched a queer sign on the hobbit’s beautiful green front-door.
Then he strode away, just about the time when Frodo was finishing the second
cake and beginning to think that he had escaped Harems very well.
The next day he had almost forgotten about Gandalf. But just before tea-time
there came a tremendous ring on the front-door bell, and then he remembered!
He rushed and put on the kettle, and put out another cup and saucer, and
an extra cake or two, and ran to the door.
“I am so sorry to keep you waiting!” he was going to say, when he saw that
it was not Gandalf at all. It was a lass with golden hair and very bright
eyes under her dark-green hood. As soon as the door was opened, she pushed
inside, just as if she had been expected.
She hung her hooded cloak on the nearest peg, and “Pearl Took at your service,” she said with a saucy smile.
“Frodo Baggins at yours!” said Frodo, too surprised to ask any questions
for the moment. He added, “I was just about to have tea, pray come and
have some with me.” A little stiff perhaps, but he meant it kindly. And
what would you do, if an uninvited Haremite came and hung her things up in
your hall without a word of explanation?
__________________
Coveting in the LUST PALACE!!!! - Eldalieva.
The soul of The Two Towers is in Frodo's anguished face. - Russell Swensen, LA Weekly.
O! Gil-Galad was a poncy king
Of him the jesters madly sing
The last whose realm had vodka free
Between the mountains and the sea... - Jussacgirl, LOTR Big Brother.
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06-15-2003 01:19 AM
Very nice!! 
