One
Night in BEWTE
by Peachy
(Frodo in Tux illustration by Lemas_Junkie from the MoME Contest at Tolkien
Online.)
BEWTE, what a lovely
setting
The girls are squeeing and the Squire is sweating
The creme de la creme of Middle-earth in a
feast with everything but Yule dinner
Time flies - doesn’t seem a minute
All
change - don't you know that when you
come into the Harem there is smutting on the menu
It's tuxedos - or Michelangelo - or photomanips - for -
for this face!
One night in BEWTE and the lasses roister
The gals are strumpets and our Pearl will squee
You'll find a bod in every garden cloister
And if you're lucky then the bod’s a he
I can feel a hobbit sliding up to me
One smial’s playing hobbit Twister
Where your head’s down over those pieces, sister
It’s a Baggins, and he’s phwoar, he’s really such a pretty That’s why
we’re on the board, we’re horny and we’re witty
ELF FANS: Whaddya mean? Ya seen one hairy, short lad in brown - Elf boys, fair,
sweet Never sweat up and they’re right up our street
Us: Grow braids! We're talking to the cutest
Whose every move kicks inner purist
I get my kicks below the waistline, sunshine...
One night in BEWTE makes a wise lass crumble
One night in BEWTE and the lasses tumble
Can’t be more joyous with our company
I can feel the hobbit walking next to me
The Tol’s gonna be the witness
To the ultimate test of physical fitness
This grips me more than danger
with a ruddy tall Elf or reclining Ranger
And thank Eru I’m not the only one without shame - not controlling it -
I don't see you lot rating
The
kind of mate I’m contemplating
I'd let you watch, I would invite you
But the feet we love would not excite you
So you better go back to your trees, your Quenya, your fancy Valar -
One night in BEWTE and the screen gets moister
We will be drooling for the last EE
We’ll pick and click and swoon and save and foister
A little flesh, a little history
I can feel my mouse is sliding up to me
One night in BEWTE makes a poster stumble
Until they’re caught up in the ecstasy
One night in BEWTE and you’ll hear the rumble
Of lasses sprinting for their swoon-to-be
I can feel another welling up in me..
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