The One (Coming Round the Mountain) filk.

Gandalf came to visit Bilbo re the One
Bilbo took off and left Frodo with the One
Frodo kept it in the Shire
Gandalf tossed it in the fire
Now the situation’s dire, with the One.

Sam and Frodo did a runner with the One
Took some fruitcake and some apples with the One
They  joined up with Pip and Merry
Ran like crazy for the ferry
Cause the Nazgul were quite scary, ‘bout the One.

Frodo vanished in the Pony with the One
And he caused a big commotion (blame the One)
So they took a chance with Strider
Who smelled worse than a Black Rider
But he kept his distance wider from the One.

Arwen rode off with the hobbit and the One
They were racing for Imladris with the One
Didn’t get a chance for speeches
Or to show his lovely breeches
You can’t trust these fancy features ‘bout the One!

Elrond did a lot of talking re the One
Yes, he bored the Council stupid re the One
So our hero said he’d take it
Seeing as Gimli couldn’t break it
And the rest hoped he would make it with the One.

It was snowy on Caradhras with the One
Frodo looked so cold and gorgeous with the One
(Okay now I know I’m drifting, but there’s just no use resisting)
And their spirits were not lifting (damn the One.)

So they rushed on into Moria with the One
Met a Balrog and lost Gandalf (curse the One)
There wre lots of tears and sighing
But if they stayed they ‘d be dying
So to Lorien they’re flying with the One.

Frodo looked into the Mirror with the One
Started getting worse suspicions ‘bout the One
Boz believed the Ring would thrill him
Thought perhaps it might fulfill him
If he tried it, Sam would kill him, blame the One!

Then the Fellowship was broken (blame the One)
Boz was skewered stiff with arrows (blame the One)
Fro and Sam were stuck with Smeagol
With no rescue from an eagle
So much angst it’s hardly legal, with the One.

Now they’re heading close to danger with the One
With no helping Elf or Ranger, just the One
“She” will meet them at the border 
Shelob – Gollum just adored her
There’ll be hell to pay in Mordor with the One.

They’ll be climbing up the mountain with the One
They’ll be climbing up Orodruin with the One
They must climb and never linger
Frodo’s going to lose his finger
And it’s going to be a zinger with the One!

Yee har!